As Beau so kindly stated in our recent Lexington Field Newsletter; I have been much grumpier than usual and not because of work or because of married life and certainly not because I have put on a few pounds recently … in the words of Jack Black, “I like to eat, is that a crime?”
For those that read our Face Book posts may have read about my recent knee surgery. I figured I should write-something explaining what has become the quintessential story of my life. I am broken, weak like a little baby bird, slow and useless on a soccer field … simply put, I sweat watching TV!!!
On September 27th last year I turned 31 years old … On January 27th of this year I got married … On February F’ing 1st, I tore my ACL for the 4th F’ing time in the same freaking knee!!! YES YES, I tore my ACL a 4th time on my honeymoon! Now I’d like to insert a crazy story explaining how my wife I were in the middle of a kinky sexual maneuver which subsequently resulted in my injury but I’d be lying! The sexual positions we use must be practiced again and again to avoid injury; needless to say we are well rehearsed in that field so y’all don’t have to worry!
I tore my ACL when a drunken idiot at the hotel in Jamaica bumped me off a ledge causing me to fall (waste-high) down awkwardly on my bad knee snapping it like a toothpick! This happened 2 days into our 10-day trip making it difficult to enjoy our honeymoon! I did have the privilege of spending an entire day in a Jamaican Hospital, which makes Kaiser look like the Ritz Carlton!
To make a long story short, I had to have 2 surgeries to repair the damage. Surgery #1 was on May 1st; the doctor removed 4 screws from my knee along with a bunch of scar tissue and meniscus. He also filled giant holes in my knee (caused by the screws which were removed) with bone, which was taken from my Hip. The 2nd surgery will be the actual ACL reconstruction surgery, which will take place at the end of the year. During that surgery, they will take a ligament from a dead person and use it in my body … pretty crazy stuff!!!!
I’ll be in rehab 2x a week for the next 6 months strengthening my leg and then I will have the other surgery, which has a 6-8 month recovery time as well.
I have been in pain and I have been VERY grumpy which Beau so kindly pointed out. I just wanted you all to know why …
The good news … things are moving along nicely which means that I will be back in no time working long hours at the bank, rocking great Lexington Field shows and performing those impressive sexual maneuvers I eluded to above!
I cannot wait to see you at our next show, which so happens to be next weekend at the Belly Up Tavern (My Favorite Venue) alongside Cash’d Out!